UNpretty

So its 7 am. And I really haven't gotten any sleep since yesterday. I geared myself for a night on the town with my fam bam, since I am starting the work around the clock schedule soon and all this free time will soon be gone. We went out to eat, watched scary movies. We joked, we laughed. And then we got the urge to play truth or dare. (My dumb idea mind you). Now keep in mind that Young Boi, you know the one I mentioned earlier, was here so...my heart went a pitter patter and I was go'n give it my best shot. So what he's younger? I thought. So what that we just met...so what??? There's a spark here. Right?

Wrong. So wrong. Never have I felt more like the misplaced girl with a crush on the captain of the football squad. I'm embarassed ashamed, and feel very...very UNpretty. I'm aware of every single out of place hair. Every mark...my cumbersome glasses. I feel nerdy, and unwanted. Like the girl who gets picked last for soccer. I'm so self aware of me and my ganglyness, my height, my coarse tighlty curled two inch hair. I feel...out of place somehow. Like I stumbled onto the popular people's table only to get laughed away. A twenty year old just told me I have a staring problem. My life is officially done. I don't feel confident and sexy as I once thought I was. I feel ugly, and uncomfortable...and like I made a fool of myself. *sigh* I don't like this feeling. Not one bit. It makes me want to crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out. It makes me want to cry. But all I can do is laugh, for expecting more from someone who graduated the year after my little brother. I don't know, maybe this whole relocation thing has got me antsy. Maybe it's the hormones. Whatever it is, I am officially that girl who doesn't fit in. And before I go running into my hole...I'll just find another table to sit at. One where who I am, is more important that what I look like.
Signing Out
Ugly Duckling