And so the next day....

Hello world! It is 1:49 pm on a Tuesday. This would be the fortunate (and unfortunate) day that I ALWAYS have off! What's there to do on a Tuesday. I got my "bonus" at work (strong qoutations). It was a 50 dollar gift card to WAL-MART...if I dont live in the country? lol. But I'm grateful to have it so I can finish up the rest of my holiday shopping for the fam and inherited fam. Oh? You dont kno about that? Lemme explain it to you.

I have a family...a BIG one...but circumstances be what they are we're all a little...distant from one other. Disenfranchised (i dont know how u spell that word but I KNOW what it means lol) if you will. So around three years ago I found a friend. Her name was Terri and her family became my family. No less dysfunctional, no less a real family and NOT the Huxtables, but forgiving, caring, open and welcoming and well...at the time my real family was just...not.

Something happens in black families with crisis or problems...we dont stand together because of all the "issues" we tend to just float or in some cases explode apart. Bad things happen...it's not fair but I feel ur supposed to fight through it. That's what makes it a FAMILY...come what may we got each other. Now not to say my family dont got me...I'm typing this from my position relocated at their house after a really bad breakup. (More of that later...). But there's support and then there's unbaised support. The latter tends to have a lot better affect than the other. U can support someone and while supporting them tell them everyday all the time how dissapointed u are that they need ur help in the first place. And then there's unbaised help...where u let someone grow (as long as it's not a detriment to U) and watch them blossom.

Like a baby that doesnt kno how to walk. Would u spank them for falling, I kno some crazy people would, but the normal person would accept the fact that they're still learning and gently lovingly tell them to get back up again. No matter how many times they fall u kno in order for them to truly have confidence that they CAN walk...u gotta let'em fall. And u gotta reassure them that they can get back up again.

Teenagers and young adults...around that time that we begin to despise our parent, their rules, their house, it's becuase we desperately want to walk. Sometimes we're afraid of falling, sometimes we dont think we can walk...and sometimes we may think that if we fall...noone will pick us up. I thought (was convinced) noone would pick me up and lovingly say...try again. You can do it. I have been somewhat right in that assumption and wrong as well. Cuz I'm here and I didnt even think that was an option.

All that to say ( i did say this is a blog for readers didn't I?)...my best friends family was like a safe haven. They didnt judge me...and no we didnt have any of those string filled moments of heart to hearts they just accepted me like I was. Greeted me with hugs, gave good sound advice, saw me with an unjudgmental eye though I'm sure some of things I was doing...was definitely not things they approved of. We all need that. And if because of whatever, we dont get it...it stings. We can understand all day long WHY that doesnt stop the stinging.

So I bought them all really nice really expensive gifts. Not to say "Oh look at me I'm balling!" (which I'm so NOT btw...if I was would I be staying with my parents? I think not). It's because I truly love these people. Every last one of them. I LOVE THEM! As crazy and imperfect as they are...they accept me for my crazy imperfect self too. And they're jus a tad bit less crazy and a tad bit less imperfect than my own folks. Which makes the enviornment jus a tiny bit more chilled.

Dont get me wrong I love my family...but u can love someone without having them drive u to drink! I'm blessed to have all the people in my life that I do. And until the next phase of life comes I will be grateful for what I do have...right in this moment.
Till next time ya'll (i did say i live in the country right???)
JOBG