So HE responded

For the last couple of days, maybe even a week or so I've been mulling and pining over the lack of communication between I and people with whom I either felt I had unfinished business with, or lack of understanding. I like to control things. The moment I took my hand off the wheel and gave GOD control....HE responded. Now this is not my faraway friend, far away friend and I are on two different planets. If we are to align it'll take God's hand moving because I'm gonna keep it trucking. Take the signs when they're shown to you because IF u ignore them they're just gonna get louder and brighter until they get ur attention.

But HE...HE I didnt expect to hear from until the time it took for me to muster enough courage from within to find my own "closure". I had slightly closed the book because I knew if I slammed it shut HARD I'd hurt my hand in the process. Now it's gently closed...almost. I wrote HIM a letter. I'm still gonna give it to him. I feel all the things he needed to know are in it.

I'll eventually get used to the fact that HE and I were just not meant to be. My carelessness with my emotions with the situation is part of the reason I'm feeling a dull ache right now. HE's a wonderful person, and HE deserves happiness. But now I know...so do I. It's a test of my theories and promises to myself hearing from HIM. I told myself all the things I was gonna do and promised I'd do. He's test number one...and I'm passing. I'm hurt but I'm not devestated because I'm not living in my hurt. I have entirely too much to do to focus on things I can't control. I'm focusing on the things that I can and asking God for the wisdom to know the difference.

But I cant lie...I'm surprised HE finally did respond, as gentemanly and sweetly as I could've asked him to. I so wanted for him to be a jerk about the situation, that'd made it easier. But all in all HE and ME are not meant to be...together that is. As long as I'm breathing HE will always be my friend, though.

He's just a friend I thought I wanted to marry....go figure?
Till next time
JOBG